After a sad night last night (had to say goodbye to a love of mine) and a scary morning (had a nightmare), My daughter, 13, is excited about St. Patrick's Day, I wasn't. Nevertheless we shopped for "green food dessert making ideas", took a run to the gym and then headed out for Mexican food. My daughter making me wear a headband with red hair braids and leprechaun hat, (I was wearing yoga pants and a football shirt), she of course was dressed in everything green and sporting a pair of Hollywood Star glasses.
There was no lying low at this point so off we went to our table for two, all couples staring at us. The conversation went something like this, "Momma, I want guacamole because it's green but I don't want the salad just the guac on the side and are you going to eat anything green?" I replied, "I'll take a bite of yours and I'm ordering enchiladas. Our order in and chips and salsa on the table, we proceed to take out our fashion magazines. I am reading about getting in shape fast, she is reading about Hollywood stars. Somehow we got on the subject of Santa Claus. I think it began when a father walked by holding a two year old, telling the child they were going to hunt for leprechauns. I look at my daughter and comment on the ridiculous lies that parents tell their children (my leprechaun headband getting in the way of my reading glasses) I asked her if she remembered me telling her that Santa wasn't real, well that he was real, but different than the story on TV and that he died and went to heaven, but that we play the Santa game like the other families and put the stockings out and pretend and have fun and be sure not to tell the other kids because that might ruin whatever their parents are telling them, but I am giving you the truth. She said she didn't remember the conversation but went on to discussion.
She said how obvious it was that Santa wasn't real because of the time factor. No man can travel the world in one evening and visit everyone, nor can reindeer fly. I asked her what about the chimney business? That's total BS that he could fit down the chimney anyway, and she said not really, that he was magic and twinkled his nose to do it, and I said well if he is magic why doesn't he just twinkle his nose and get through the front door, dramatic. She looked at me scrunching her nose up and said they just wanted the story to be fun and all, and then I replied well still it was the whole coming down the chimney thing that I found hard to believe, especially if fire was left going on in there. We both started to laugh, wearing our green ridiculousness, on St. Patrick's day while eating Mexican food and discussing Santa Claus.
We finished our meal and came home to make green banana muffins.
Well there you have it, a depressed woman's story of repressed holiday spirit on the eve after losing a potential great love, the love that has popped in and out of my life for five years. I'm going to miss him so very much. He and I never did discuss Santa Claus, but we did discuss a lot of other topics while lying around drinking wine and watching movies, talking on the patio last night was amazing too. Oh and the kisses, I know I'll miss his kiss too, I will miss you love...
